By: Maha Ali Rizvi
So many of us including myself see this all day every day. So important to take a pause and love our bodies that makes us unique. To appreciate another is great but comparing can really end up being a demotivating and pointless exercise.
I wish I was skinny
I am too skinny
I hate my big butt
I am too fat
My chest is too big
I am too short
I hate my fat stomach
I am too flat chested
I wish I had fat thighs
I hate my body
I hate my round face
I wish I was tall
MORE SELF LOVE AND POSITIVE SELF TALK IS THE REMINDER UP ON MY BOARD THIS WEEK. And hence I shall remind you all of it too. Our differences make us unique. We should embrace these our unique qualities and love who we are. We should stop talking negative about our body.
For me it is very important to address this issue because, I see girls coming to me every now and then and asking me “I am tired of me looking like a sack of potatoes you are lucky, How do you manage to eat so much and still look slim and smart, How do you have a flat tummy, How do you have a slim face and the biggest of all
I WISH I WAS LIKE YOU.” In the past I use to get really happy and proud on it but now I have realized I shouldn’t be. People are comparing me with themselves and feeling guilty about it especially young girls or middle aged women.
Taking care of yourself is another thing but comparing yourself and feeling bad about it isn’t. Just like I stated above. Be proud of your body and everything. ALWAYS BE YOU! Don’t let any negativity affect you. A lot of women seek comfort by bonding through body-bashing talk, but in the end, it only makes us feel worse. Whenever you slip up (and it's OK if you do––the goal is awareness, not perfection!) change the topic to something more fulfilling. We should catch and correct ourselves because our whole lives are affected by how we think and speak about our bodies. From puberty, to rapid growth when muscles grow, to pregnancy! The female body is something to be celebrated as it is truly incredible!
Instead of keeping skinny clothes as "inspiration," donate too-tight or outdated items…buy clothes that fit your body now so you are less self-conscious. You deserve to feel pretty at your current weight.
Instead of going for a specific number on the scale, gauge whether your weight is "ideal" by assessing the following: Are you getting a variety of natural, tasty, satisfying foods and enough movement to stimulate your body and brain on a regular basis? Are you mostly fulfilled by what you eat, and rarely feel deprived? If freedom from deprivation—and the obsessive food- and body-related thoughts that come with it—means weighing more than you're "supposed to" (based on someone else's standards), it may be a healthy tradeoff you should make. Gaining weight isn’t anything to be ashamed off. Gaining weight doesn’t make you any less beautiful or worthy than you are. Your weight does not define you!
Scars and stretch marks trace it, evidence of years of violent rage means to stretch and stress, tighten and diminish. Just like many other characteristics that make us human, they are deemed as flaws we must correct in order to be beautiful. We are expected to find ways to minimize their appearance on our bellies, thighs, arms, or anywhere else they've shown up. We are told we should detest them because they are another sign we haven't achieved perfection. This is completely wrong.
Don’t feed this cycle of shame, humiliation and ridicule. It will soon become a focal point of your life and bread of your body.
And soon you will battle with control and constant, unforgiving dominance. As my Psychology teacher stated it once.
Stretch marks are normal, natural and beautiful! They deserve to be celebrated and embraced! Stretch marks are a daily reminder that our bodies are incredible and capable of some really cool things! Give your stretch marks some extra loving today! They deserve it! Also they remind us that we women are capable of producing a life inside us. Your body is a beautiful canvas and every stretch mark is a work of art!
Accepting ourselves is the core affirmation of self. It’s embracing our flaws alongside our perfections and working hard to see the silver lining in them. It’s unconditional. It’s free from any qualification and it is absolute.
For any chance at ever loving the body you were born with, you’ve got to learn how to let the opinions, looks and comments of others flow off you like water off a duck’s back. People judge. We’re a judgey bunch. But that doesn’t mean those judgements are correct and it sure as hell doesn’t mean that those judgements have any bearing on reality. Instead of taking the side-eyes and snarky comments of the people around you as gospel, channel that inner mother inside yourself and say, “I love you. You’re beautiful.”
In order to love myself, I realized, I need to accept myself. Unconditionally.
Living in the Instagram age, we’ve become masters of constantly comparing ourselves against the projected lives of those around us. We compare ourselves to friends, family, movie stars and our neighbors; we long for bodies that aren’t real and for holidays and lifestyles that are staged beyond imagination. If you want to love your body stop the comparisons. Stop obsessing over an idea of perfect and who “has it” and who “doesn’t”. Let go of the constant need to be as good as the person sitting next to you and stop joining in when your friends start up a body-bashing session.
Learning to love your body is ultimately about learning to love yourself. When we learn to love and care for the person we are on the inside, the outside follows. Once you begin to treat yourself with respect your entire perspective changes and with that your energy and your passion for life.
The going isn’t easy, but the transformation is beautiful and the lesson is clear: if you want to love your body, love yourself first.
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